Entertainment

Playing with a balloon proves to be almost universally popular, with it either being thrown and caught between two people (using two hands) or bopped backwards and forwards between them (with one hand). It can also be played with a group in a care home, with the able-bodied organiser receiving it each alternate time and then passing it on to the next. Do insist that everyone who wants to play is sitting down, and not perched on the edge of their seat, otherwise the desire to reach a straying balloon could lead to tripping over something or overbalancing (and of course make sure other people aren't going to be walking through). Don't play it when there's an infection going round (norovirus, flu etc) as the balloon could transmit the disease. To avoid the balloon bursting, it's best to use good quality large balloons but only blow them up to normal size - they have thicker walls and won't be stretched as near to their limit. A strong bright single colour will be more visible to those with poor eyesight.

Music is very popular with most - this could be CDs or a suitable radio station (see m4dradio.com below). Avoid it being too loud or going on for longer than is wanted (which will vary from person to person). It's worth trying a variety of music, including things your loved one may not have listened to before. Don't pigeonhole the older generation into liking only very old (or wartime) songs - suggestions include Abba, or Andre Rieu for the more classical side of things.

Secondhand CDs can often be found cheaply at charity shops, or online via sites such as ebay, including from companies that test each item for scratches that would harm playback.

Music for Dementia radio is a set of five radio stations (delivered via the m4d Radio website) that play non-stop music 24 hours a day. The stations are 30's & 40's; 50's; 60's; 70's; and Mix. There's also an 'Alexa skill' to make it easily accessible from an Amazon Echo device - see our section on using an Echo device for unaided video or voice calls.

DVDs have a great advantage over television in that you can choose favourite subjects and know exactly what you're getting. The disadvantage of course is that they may need someone to work the DVD player and select the right menu options.

Don't forget you can play a DVD during a visit to a care home by taking a laptop (and headphones if necessary), but do keep your eye on it at all times to avoid drink spillages or it being dropped.

As for CDs, secondhand DVDs can often be found cheaply at charity shops, or online via sites such as ebay, including from companies that test each item for scratches that would harm playback.

Music performances or musical films are very popular with most, together with comedy and wildlife, and we have some well-tried suggestions:

Andre Rieu

Kids Music Shop DVDs

Meerkats etc

Laurel and Hardy

Tom and Jerry

Musical films

TV is best used in a very deliberate manner, to watch specific programmes with someone managing the channels. We don't think it's good to leave a TV on the same channel all day, as a highly appropriate and enjoyable programme can be followed straight after by one that is just the opposite. Nor does having the TV on all day seem very engaging - it may end up being just 'background noise', although if that's what your loved one enjoys then fine. Also bear in mind that adverts take up a third of the time and can be disjointed and confusing, if you're not on the BBC.

It's useful to go into the TV's menu and restrict the channel list to ones that are of interest.

Also see our note on big button remote controls.

For some people a birdfeeder can form a welcome interest that can be turned to when they like, if suitably positioned (and there are feeders available that attach to a window). You'll need to think about who will refill the feeder, and make sure that the supply of spare food is kept where it won't be mistaken for human food by someone with dementia (consider a child-proof lock on a cupboard). If keeping bird food outside in a shed make sure it doesn't attract mice.

We strongly recommend getting good quality seed, as the cheaper mixes are a false economy - birds remove and drop the cheap types of seed they don't like, so you get through the bag more quickly anyway and the seed on the floor could attract mice (if there aren't pigeons to get it first). Once you've established that both your loved one and the birds like the arrangement, seed is cheaper to buy in large bags from pet stores than small bags from supermarkets, but they're very heavy and will need to be scooped into a smaller container for use.

One final consideration in siting the feeder is that bird droppings beneath it could be slippery, so avoid somewhere people might walk.

For more information see the RSPB website section on feeding birds.

You could make your own album of photographs, with labels in large print where necessary. Whilst putting in photographs of yourself and family etc, consider whether a photograph of someone who's passed away might be too upsetting (but of course could be added if your loved one asks). You could add photos of pets, flowers, birds, animals, paintings etc - there are plenty of photos available on the internet to download and print according to your loved one's interests (subject to copyright).

You could also consider picture books such as aerial photos of famous landmarks etc.

You don't have to know the words ('do-do-do-do' fits every song ever written), but you can sit facing each other and hold both hands and move them from side to side in time to the tune of something like The Lambeth Walk (and don't forget to lift both hands when you get to 'Oi' at the end of the chorus!). Children's songs have jolly tunes that are likely to be remembered when words no longer are.

A 'gym ribbon' is a streamer flexibly connected to a stick, so it can be motioned around in a horizontal figure of eight to give a little exercise for the arms and a nice visual purpose for doing so. You can both do it from a seated position, one arm at a time, and whilst you can use (slowish) music you don't need to. Make sure you don't overdo it and make the arms tired, and as with all exercise do 'warm up' by starting slowly at first (don't forget that what may be little effort to you may be a lot to them). A 2 metre (6 foot) ribbon can always be cut down down a little if you find you need to.

A xylophone or glockenspiel is an easy way for someone with dementia to take part themselves in doing something musical - just going up and down the scales can be pleasing, either sliding the drumstick or you can form simple patterns by tapping each note twice before moving on to the next, or going back one and then forward two etc. You can demonstrate and give a little concert of your own and then hand over to them and guide them.

Metal ones (technically glockenspiels) produce a nicer ring that is easier for an old folk to hear than wooden ones (technically xylophones, although most people use the terms interchangeably). If there are others around in a care home, though, they may not like what they see as a loud noise - though you can adjust the volume by swapping the drumstick for something lighter like a pen.

There are drawing stencils for all sorts of objects and patterns; a Spirograph to create fancy patterns; 'scratch paper' where you use a stylus to draw any shape and reveal colours underneath (which can also be used in conjunction with stencils or a Spirograph); and 'scratch art' where the coloured drawing is already there and you scratch the covering off to reveal it. (There are also 'Aquapaint' paintings where the painting magically appears when you brush water over it, and then disappears again when it dries out - but they're quite expensive and the person might not want the painting to disappear again!)

These are all useful as a shared or guided activity, or for more able people to use on their own. They can also help avoid frustration at not being able to draw as well as they used to, or scratch art could be viewed as an alternative to jigsaws.

If you have artificial flowers you could occasionally take them out and share the job of making a new arrangement. (Be aware that artificial flowers may get watered, so consider where an overflow might run.)

Visits out can be great fun and a change of scenery, although in the later stages of dementia they may be more stressful to the person than the good it does, so keep an eye on that. Also note the weather forecast.

Look at what attractions are local to you - maybe a park, somewhere you can feed the ducks (the RSPB says use bird seed rather than bread, and never ever use uncooked rice), or a zoo (which may have indoor sections when it's too cold to be outside).

You could take your loved one to see one of their friends, or bring their friend to see them.

There may also be day centres and social activities in your area.

Also see our advice on travelling out.

While they're able to have a conversation or are happy to listen to you doing all the talking, a chat can be both an entertainment and a way of keeping up capabilities. Avoid rattling off complex sentences with a string of thoughts or several pieces of information in a row that they can't follow.

If they're unable to speak, or find it difficult to make conversation, then speak as if to yourself so they can join in but don't have to - and it may still feel to them like a conversation they're taking part in.

You can potentially chat or talk to them at the same time as doing other things, so long as they don't find it too distracting or overwhelming to do both.